The two critical rules for older guys dating girls under 25:
Rule #1: Don’t be needy
You should never be needy with any woman (exceptions made if she’s an over 30 divorcee with two kids and a Snickers bar figure) but it is especially important to refrain from showing even the slightest displays of neediness with the under 25 girls. A young woman is extra-sensitive to the subtle signals that a man gives off when he is a little too happy to be with her. If the guy she likes is significantly older, like ten years or more, she’ll be that much more on guard for beta bahavior. An older guy who is needy is a bigger loser than a younger guy who is needy, because the younger guy at least has the excuse of inexperience. Plus, the older guy has to learn how to handle the elevated risk of being labeled a “lech” or “pervy”.
Examples:
Texting
29 year old texts you. Wait 5 minutes before replying.
22 year old texts you. Wait 1 hour before replying, unless it’s a weekend night in which case don’t text back until the next day.
Calling
29 year old calls. Pick up on the third ring.
22 year old calls. Let it go to voicemail and return call minimum of 2 hours later.
Going to a bar together
Chat up one other girl in 29 year old’s presence. Any more than that and you will make her too insecure.
Leave 22 year old for 30 minute stretches of time to flirt with girls in different parts of the bar. If she sees three or more girls laughing along with you, bonus points. You are guaranteed sex that night.
Shit testing
If 29 year old tells you some random guy flirted with her today, show a hint of jealousy.
If 22 year old tells you some random guy flirted with her today, say you hoped she number closed him because she needs a shopping boyfriend.
Post-coital challenge
29 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Me too.”
22 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Thanks! Keep it coming. I’m a sucker for flattery.”
Communication breakdown
29 year old mysteriously stops contacting you. Wait four days before sending casual text asking her out on another date.
22 year old mysteriously stops contacting you. Do not attempt to contact her again. In two months you have a 50% chance of getting a text from her wanting to see you.
Rule #2: Don’t be insecure
Many older guys who like dating younger girls fall into the trap of fretting about the age difference. He makes the mistake of bringing the issue up before she has, or cracking awkward jokes about her youth. His age insecurity will lead him to lean on his money or job status as attraction ploys because he won’t believe that a cute younger girl could love him for his personality or strength of character.
The truth is that, contrary to the sugar daddy cultural message, money and a high status job are not required to attract younger women. They help, but what helps a lot more is tight game and a dominant, charming personality. If you are unfazed by the age difference, she will be too. Run the same game at 35, 45, and 55 that you would at 25.
Bear in mind that younger women (barring a few notable golddigger exceptions) are not as practical as older women. They are more whimsical, flirty, passionate, and romantic, and this means you will get more mileage having a youthful outlook, being recklessly spontaneous, maintaining a high level of energy, and focusing on the emotional connections, than you would tempting them with the allure of financial stability and security.
If you follow my advice above, you will have no trouble finding a girl much younger than you to fall in love with you.
So calculating! How can you possibly keep up with all these tests and rules? It sucks to be you, roissy! But then life is for whatever the hell you want to do with it. Have a good one and good luck.
Man I’m glad I read this, the middle school across from my apartment gets out at 2pm.
zing!!!! gotcha
Communicating
Use the word “lech” to a 29 year old, she thinks you are stuck with a vernacular from the 1980s.
Use the word “lech” to a 22 year old, she wonders what the hell this old dude means.
again, spot on.
the absolute worst is the petulant whining when they are attempting to be “cute”.
trying for cuteness should be avoided like chlamydia.
i recently overheard a college-aged girl use “lech” in a conversation with her friends about her older ex-BF.
the word must be making a comeback.
gold
trying for cuteness should be avoided like chlamydia.
Whaaa? Cuteness rocks!
roissy: “If you follow my advice above, you will have no trouble finding a girl much younger than you to fall in love with YOU.”
So all this is about getting a young woman to fall in love “WITH” you? So that means you must be planning on being there too, huh? As in WITH? I know of course, what you really mean. Just seduce her, fuck her a few times and she will think she’s “in love” with you. It’s a no brainer, isn’t it? Young women generally don’t know any better, in which case, you’ll have all the benefits of her thinking she’s ‘in love’ with you.
Everyone is playing the “you go first” game. Why should you be any different? You go first, put your heart, body, and soul on the line and then when it’s 100% safe, I’ll think about it. But don’t feel bad. 99% of people seem to feel the same way, hence the divorce rate, lack of marriage rate, lack of happiness rate, lack of couples rate, lack of love rate.
Here’s a nasty thought. If the woman who wrote “The Rules” for women were young and hot, you could get together and make each others lives a living hell.
“Here’s a nasty thought. If the woman who wrote “The Rules” for women were young and hot, you could get together and make each others lives a living hell.”
You are a genius Gadfly!!!!!!!!!!!!
First, the proper response for a man to any “I love you”-type statement is the same no matter your age: “I know.” Star Wars has a (justified) reputation for nerdiness, but that line is Pimp Supreme.
Second, why would you recommend that a man show jealousy — even if it is slight — when a 29-year-old says another man flirted with her? I don’t think that’s ever a good strategy. Getting aggressive if another guy hits on her in front of you is one thing — you’re showing your dominance and possessiveness, which isn’t the same — but showing jealousy always seems like a loser move.
Lastly, there has to be a better way to handle mysterious communications cutoff than just letting it go and hoping for the best. What about making her think that you were the one who broke off contact? Maybe a text saying, “I haven’t contacted you in a while because I had some doubts, but I’d like to give you another chance.” Thoughts?
Roissy –
Been reading your blog for awhile now but never felt the need to comment except now. I am 36 and currently juggling a “9″ who is 22 and an “8″ who is 24, two things they both look for…
Make sure they know you’re in charge. They have to have 100% confidence in you in the sense that what ever they do with you it will be an expperience they can not get from some dude close to there age. Your experience is there gain has to be there mindset.
Be really good in bed
Love the blog – keep up the good fight.
Love your use of the word “there” ATL.
Possibly the most useful blog post I have read all year! Dugg!
http://digg.com/educational/Top_Two_Rules_For_Dating_Younger_Women
If I went to a bar with a guy and he left me alone for 30 minutes at a time and then proceeded to play the room, he definitely wouldn’t be taking me home.
But then again, I’m just a 22 year old woman. What do I know?
There will always be errors made — I was hitting on an 18 y.o. recently, and not even 5 minutes into chatting her up, I let slip something about my age. She said, “Oh, well how old *are* you?” I couldn’t lie, and said 27… I never do this with them, but again, errors will be made.
We should start a list of good responses just in case they act shocked. I was thinking, “Hey! Show some respect for your elders” in a cocky voice with a noise-wrinkly smile. That way you point out that you’re not old old and get her to laugh, humor always being a good way to make her drop her guard. I’ve never tried this line, btw, but there must be some time-tested retorts out there…
I think a better rule is, not to just sound secure about the age diff, but don’t mention anything age-related until she’s into you. After that, her first impression has congealed and finding out that you’re a bit older than she thought will be like finding out you’re a serial killer — “Oh, really? Well, you’re still pretty hot and fun to be around, so what are a few dismembered bodies to me?”
Agree totally with most of this, especially not being the first to bring up the age issue. Younger girls try to get you to give out your age by constantly bringing up theirs. Resist the temptation to say, “Yeah, and I’m X”. I’ve found that if a girl is really interested, she will sleep with you without knowing minor details like your age.
Yes leaving an attractive 22 year old by herself in a bar while you flirt with other girls for 30 minutes is definitely NOT a good idea. She will either (A) Get pissed off an leave; or (B) Get pissed off and start flirting with other guys. You need to protect your turf- if your standards are as high as you maintain they are, you can pretty much guarentee that several other guys are going to swoop in and start hitting on her.
Of course, there is one case where you’re morally OK in lying about your age: if you’re younger than she is. Most guys reading this blog are past the point where older women appear hot, but if you’re 21 and she’s 24 or something — lie, bald-facedly.
I’ll never forget when I almost had an adventure with a Spanish bartender (imagine bartenders here, but hotter and less fake). She was looking only at me, came over and was very flirty, kept leaning in to whisper, kept reaching out to touch my hands and arms, no awkward breaks in the conversation… until she asked how old I was.
I truthfully said 23 (I was nearly 24). Turns out she’s a lot older than she looks — 28, and she said, “Ay pero eres muy joven eh?” — “Oh my, you’re pretty young, aren’t you?” She didn’t look a day over 21 (her rail-thin, 5′0 figure didn’t help me figure out her age).
Always get her age first. As a bonus, if you can tell she’s 19 but lies and says 23 in your presence, she’s trying to lie upward in order to not freak you out about her being too young. That’s a good signal that she likes older guys.
Normally I am pretty much in agreement with most of what you say Roissy, but here I have to… well not necessarily disagree with your conclusions, but disagree with the premises. The thing is, I rarely date girls my age or older and I find that younger ones are the opposite of what you say. I rarely have to worry about them leaving me for some pop collared Georgetown douchebag, in fact it’s quite the opposite. They usually stick to me like the scent of a good stripper’s perfume. I can’t seem to shake it.
Maybe it’s just my stunning good looks or absolutely fucking phenomenal personality, but I find they just fall in love harder than most.
No, but in reality I think that they are so caught up that an older, more intelligent, sophisticated and worldly male would take any interest in them that they fall harder than older women. They are used to some limp prick fratboy drooling keystone light on their breasts and I guess the fact that I have read a book or two and are perhaps involved in something deeper than an x-box, makes them down right batty.
They have often told me that they could never go back to one of those simpleton goobers after me (which I attribute to my age and perceived maturity).
Or is it that your term of Alpha doesn’t even begin to describe me on my worst day???
oh and before some grammer prick points it out (which is usually me) I’ll point it out…
“I guess the fact that I have read a book or two and are perhaps”
are should be am…
If this was any more accurate it would have to be be in a leather bound volume.
9 moi? Thank you. You must not be from around here.
10 Reggie: “Second, why would you recommend that a man show jealousy — even if it is slight — when a 29-year-old says another man flirted with her?”
Please allow me. Never, ever show jealousy. It’s very bad form, unless done completely in jest. But then many a truth is spoken in jest, so make sure you’re jesting or she will rightly see you as needy and insecure. If she finds jealousy somehow endearing or ‘proof’ of your feelings, she is woefully ignorant. But then it doesn’t sound like you consider intelligence a valuable trait. Just make sure she doesn’t get pregnant.
18 agnostic:
“if you can tell she’s 19 but lies and says 23 in your presence, she’s trying to lie upward in order to not freak you out about her being too young. That’s a good signal that she likes older guys.”
It’s actually a good sign she will lie about….um…just about anything. But then truthfulness may not be considered a desirable trait. Lying could be a point of compatibility.
19 replacement brain:
“I rarely have to worry about them leaving me.”
It’s not you who is so great. At least not judging by your comments here. It’s more your dick and their hormones and natural desire to procreate with a provider and protector. You seem to fit the bill, but apparently do not. Many young girls make this mistake. Over and over and over and over….so I’m sure you won’t run of them any time soon.
10 Reggie “I haven’t contacted you in a while because I had some doubts, but I’d like to give you another chance.” Thoughts?”
Yes, bullshit begets more bullshit, but if that’s what you’re into, go for it.
“call me daddy”
if some one asks your age say “in dog years or human years ?” alternatively “i was raised by wolves”
“How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you were?”
if you’re 22 and she’s 23, should you lie?
““Hey! Show some respect for your elders” in a cocky voice with a noise-wrinkly smile. That way you point out that you’re not old old and get her to laugh…”
The great thing about this line is that you also make her think she isn’t good enough for you. Although Roissy warned against it, saying ‘you’re too young for me’ can be effective if you do it right – it qualifies her, and she will do more to get your attention etc, saying ‘no I’m not, I’m mature for my age etc’ Then she’s putty in your hands.
If an older man is single, there’s probably a reason why. In which case, a much younger girl shouldn’t be seeing him.
Just a thought here, but age and maturity are often correlated (I’m a 30 year old guy, and I admit to frequently enjoying being an exception). For a woman, maturity comes with experience dealing with “games;” and a higher likelihood to not respond well to “strategies.” As one ages, one learns a lower tolerance for being toyed with. Varying tactics should probably focus on relative maturity level more than absolute age.
Are there good ways to compare relative maturity between the sexes? Different genders obviously mature along different paths.
How does dating / playing the game / being played by the game accelerate or decelerate the maturation process?
And should we take a step back and analyze the correlation between maturity and various methods/places to meet members of the opposite sex (i.e. from a maturity perspective is there any difference between meeting someone at a bar vs. at Whole Foods)?
Second, why would you recommend that a man show jealousy — even if it is slight — when a 29-year-old says another man flirted with her?
small doses of calculated jealousy can be your best friend.
say didn’t I see you in “Shopgirl” ?
27 cuchulainn
“The great thing about this line is that you also make her think she isn’t good enough for you.”
AWESOME!!! So you want her to think she’s not good enough for you? Yeah, then SHE has to ’step up to the plate’. In other words, play the masculine role. Only an insecure boob would think that was a worthwhile goal. Another recipe for misery, cuz let’s face it. You’re no better. You just proved it to ME anyway! Do you really think you’re going to fool anyone?
There are ways to ACTUALLY improve your self image, but attempting to make others feel ‘less than’ is idiotic. More games, more subterfuge, more stupid bullshit that anyone with half a brain can see through. Yes, I know it’s all in good fun, for a worthwhile goal. Your getting laid, right? Good luck. 
29 DPA
“How does dating / playing the game / being played by the game accelerate or decelerate the maturation process?”
Well, it’s a fabulous question to ask, but this is not rocket science, is it? Good grief.
30 roissy
“small doses of calculated jealousy can be your best friend.”
Sorry, roissy, but you are a first class idiot.
And if this kind of thinking gets you laid 3 times a day, you’re still an idiot. Just one who fucks frequently. 
Am enjoying this post quite a lot. Thank you.
^ Sorry again, roissy. This is your post and I’m slamming you. Not nice, I realize. Please accept my apology.
I know you mean well in your advice, and I too, but can be a bit too sarcastic.
Roissy, I don’t know that any of this is likely to work on shy younger women. You have to make some allowances for personality when plotting out your strategy, or “game” as you call it.
When I was in my early 20s and “older” men (over 30s) took an interest in me, it simply scared and repulsed me, not because the men were repulsive but because I thought that they must have really perverse taste to be interested in the very immature person I knew I was. At 23, I was scared out of my wits when a man of 38 at my office asked me out to lunch.
If the man were only slightly older, like say 26 when I was 21, I felt flattered but I was still a little frightened.
The kind of treatment you describe would have turned me into a zombie, so uncertain of what the man wanted from me that I would have been unable to respond in any way at all.
All-encompassing strategies are no substitute for learning something about the person you are trying to attract. Oh, and a really sure-of-herself, beautiful young woman who has always attracted whatever man she wanted, would see through this kind of behaviour in a minute, too.
I suppose you might stand a chance with the in-betweens, though – the ones who are neither extremely shy nor extremely sure of themselves.
Sigh. So many of your recommendations for the pursuit of women sound like a recipe for unhappiness for both parties involved, even (or especially), when they’re successful.
^ Thank you alias. I agree 100%
Haha actually Gadfly I have lived her my entire life. =)
Clio — I think the advice here is based on the premise that the girl will actually be interested in a noticeably older guy in the first place. If she isn’t, then his behavior won’t change that. Those who are interested probably have a more wild-child try-anything-once personality, and they don’t get put off by what Roissy’s prescribing.
I find it wierd, Roissy, that you didn’t talk about how much easier it is to unsettle a woman/girl (still don’t feel grown up and call myself girl) when she’s young. I talked to this boy(man?) the other day and I felt so gamed, vacillating between whether he was manipulating me or not. He talked about how he interacted with women and implied *but did not actually say* that I was different, liked the drama, casually referred to his wealth when it was relevant and I ended up both calling him a ‘bastard’ and being attracted. The way he talked had me labelling him 25, which was way too old.
But then he switched tacks, said how although he had skills with girls, he didn’t use it to get laid. He went all soft on me, and I was both relieved and slightly disappointed (its nice to feel attractive) to realise all he wanted to be was friends to chat to.
It feels like wasted potential, like he could be an alpha if he bothered, but he didn’t have that kind of confidence.
—
I usually like at least slightly older guys because I find the boys around me idiots.
I don’t think women necessarily limit themselves by age. It’s the looks and personality that come from that age. If he acts old, makes you feel young and one feels like there’s no common ground, fair enough! (unless you’re into age play…)
I think the amount of girls that’re interested in older guys (teachers, ’seniors’, guys who have actual jobs and aren’t alcoholics) outweigh those who aren’t. It’s fairly natural to go for a guy who looks to be more in control of himself, and I think an older guy tends to look more attractive in simple contrast.
To be honest, older men need to take advantage of this…! I find it hilarious how many missed oppurtunities the average man accumulates.
“Ava V
If an older man is single, there’s probably a reason why. In which case, a much younger girl shouldn’t be seeing him.”
That smacks of a generalisation against older men in general. There aren’t that many awesome women floating around, and women in his age group may be a bit too controlling of their own lives to settle well with him at that point. Lots of advantages to the younger/older relationship; each one gets something out of it.
If a girl is a silly bint at that point in time, though, she won’t be able to handle any man. Doesn’t matter how old he is. She shouldn’t be seeing ANYONE.
Er, as in, I was off the mark. He was younger than 25.
I love this advice: “Don’t be needy. Don’t be insecure”.
Then you go on to tell the guys here how to appear confident and secure. That’s exactly what “The Rules” say to women. Basically that they know the reader must be needy and insecure, else they would not pick up such an idiotic book. So then it goes on to describe exactly the scenarios you describe here. Amazing! Dating Hell revisited. No wonder people find it such a nightmare.
moi: Your entire life? Oh, I’m sorry.
If the guy she likes is significantly older, like ten years or more, she’ll be that much more on guard for beta bahavior.
It feels like wasted potential, like he could be an alpha if he bothered, but he didn’t have that kind of confidence.
Within these words lie a new kind of black and white. The terms alpha and beta are overly simplistic. But people like to put shit in neat categories — another primal trait.
It’s impossible for someone to be top dog and strong and in control all the time, or to be subservient and obedient and controlled all the time. Everyone has vulnerabilities, needs and limits.
The world has more than two colors. When two people truly love each other, they are both “beta” and “alpha” at the same time, and many, many shades of complications in between.
“Post-coital challenge
29 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Me too.” (We all know you’re falling for yourself, roissy.
)
You say “Either you are or you’re not. Which is it?” Put her on edge. Let her know you don’t trust anything she tells you. This will make her desperate to qualify.
22 year old gazes at you lovingly and says “I think I’m falling for you.” You say “Thanks! Keep it coming. I’m a sucker for flattery.”
You say “I think I hear your mother calling.” If she’s desperate and really attached, she’ll cling to you even harder. The longer you’ve been fucking her the better this works. You’ll have her eating out of your crotch.
C.M. He was younger than 25? How is he an older guy then? Are you in high school? lol
My guy friend who is 42 has no problem at all with women. Young or old he can get laid at the drop of a hat. And this is what’s so funny. He’s got tatoos all over, a mowhawk, is a bit overweight around the middle, wears an earring, tank tops, sandals, and shorts. He does clean up well though if he needs to.
He asks women he’s interested in, “Do you want a Big Mac or should we just go for it”? He has more takers than you can imagine. He refuses to play games and tells them flat out what he’s interested in–SEX.
He baffles them, not with bullshit, but with raw unfiltered honesty. I showed him your site, and he thinks it’s completely GAY. He thinks it’s way too much effort to have to remember all of this bull. Even when he was in marriage counseling with his ex-wife, the marriage counselor hit on him!! I know for a fact he’s telling the truth, because we work together and I’ve seen him in action.
I dare you to try it, if you have the balls!! This guy is an alpha. Strong, honest, and highly sexual.
lol that guy sounds like a total douchebag.
^ You wish.
Mohawk, tank top, and tattoos, at 42? yeah, that might be cool in Wyoming or something. not where people actually live though.
Er, 18. I’m at university.
28 y.o. i am seeing a 22 y.o. She is a L.A. 9 I never answer when she calls. I might be out with the guys, watching sports center for the 8th time, at the gym, at work, X360, whatever. I NEVER ANSWER. I text her when I want to see her, see complies. She complies because that is the only way she can see me. 7 flawless months, and she has no idea I am seeing my assistants sister.
C.M.
same holds true for older women. it’s a red flag. and yes it is a generalization.
Im 21 and only date older men….and…If I went to a bar with any man and he left me for a half hour and I noticed he was over flirting with other chicks….Id be outta that bar soooo fast! lol That’s horrible advice !
Im 18 & I loooove older men my age limit iz 25-45
I think you may be right in the stereotypical sense. But as someone under 25, I don’t think what you said would be typical of me (or most other girls I know). Rule 1 is especially iffy:
I like prompt responses to texts. As someone with less money to blow than an older woman, I value when people text me back! I also like knowing that the other person (a) saw my message and (b) cared enough to respond like it mattered.
Whether you call me back or actually pick up the phone doesn’t affect me. What changes things is if I get the feeling that there is a practiced pattern to your phone habits — anything contrived will be seen as manipulative unless it demonstrates your devotion.
You are more likely to be guaranteed further sexual contact with a woman if she’s older, not younger. Period. It’s the notion that when you’re old(er), you can do whatever the hell you want. But if you’re 20, you’re still influenced by the feeling that you have other options if the current guy doesn’t appreciate you.
You want to be careful with the L word. We might seem really impulsive (and we can be), but younger girls don’t randomly tell anyone we Love them. Most of us haven’t been married or know many married people other than our parents. We think Love is a big deal and say it like we mean it. I guess you could say “the first cut is the deepest.” I think if I’m still alone when I’m 29 (okay maybe mid 30’s), I will feel the need to find Love really soon. I might even fling it around to feel closer to you or make you feel closer to me.
I am actually busy a lot. Maybe abnormally so for someone my age. When I stop calling, it might seem like I’ve dropped off the face of the Earth but it’s nice when someone calls me anyway. I’m glad that they remember me even though I didn’t remind them. That’s pretty universal to the point I feel happier even when my roommate used to call me when I wasn’t around for several days. She thought I died!
#2 is borderline correct, but not really:
If you’re lucky, you will find someone you want who wants YOU back. And not because of your manipulative charms. If there is a significant age gap, it would be good to know you care enough to bring it up, putting your position on the line. Courage and compassion beat macho attitudes any day. There’s a certain kind of security of self that’s attractive in anyone but don’t be aloof too much or it might not last. Just don’t be a pansy and wear those pepto-bismol coloured polos. And do not pop your collar.
I know this is an insanely long comment. But I needed a break from finals studying. Good blog
paperdreamer, you’re not supposed to write a COMMENT that is longer than the actual article you’re referring to
[...] Top Two Rules for Dating Younger Women [...]
Im a 20 year old girl and I agree with JK the 22 year old girl. If any guy treated me like that I would leave him, especially if its an older guy that gives me more reason to leave him. I once dated a very handsome 30 year old he was really hot but obviously I would not have dated him if he was not as nice as he was in his personality(but I wasnt dating him for a long term relationshipor anything it was just for fun, and I enjoyed his unique company. However I told four of my close freinds about him, while all of them acknowledged that he was quite goodlooking, 3 of them looked at me like I was extremely weird to like a man so old, and so I did not tell anyone else. And also I know it sounds really really horrible I did not like to be seen in public with him, the looks we got just made me uncomfortable and also I definately did not want fit young guys my age seeing me with him,although he was an absolutely lovely person.Like I remember this one time I was out with him in this area where one of my classmates/lecture mates worked that I had a crush on and I was just praying that he does not see me with him, and he didnt. Alot of you are saying that older men are much more wiser and generally better than younger men, however id have to disagree you do get many boys my age who in their mindset are very mature intellectual articulate charming etc. However most younger girls would go out with an older who is big in the downstairs department(if you get what Im saying) so consider yourself lucky, otherwise she will not neccessarily be attracted to you unles you are unbelievably good looking and is unlikely to brag about you to her friends or want to be seen with an older guy. Any way how old are you guys im feeling a bit left out being on this blog now
katie london xxx
Oh well at least Lemmonex jk and paperdreamer are young
If any guy treated me like that I would leave him
never listen to what a girl says. watch what she does.
I did not like to be seen in public with him
katie, it sounds like you just didn’t like this 30yo guy very much, despite his good looks. if you had liked him with your heart you wouldn’t have felt the way you did about being seen in public with him. trust me on this, as i have been dating younger women for years — if the younger girl loves the older guy nothing else matters. her friends will see that she loves him and will accept him and support her, and other guys will give your BF respect because they will be able to see how much you are into him.
so it’s not the age thing that was the problem in your case, it was the love thing. you had your heart set on a classmate instead.
remember, a man’s looks are not what makes a girl fall in love. good looks only get him the audition.
although he was an absolutely lovely person
“lovely person”. this is a dead giveaway that you did not feel sexually attracted to your 30 yo man because of his personality. telling a guy he is a lovely person is the same as telling him “let’s just be friends”.
However most younger girls would go out with an older who is big in the downstairs department
that is completely false. you sound like you’re making this up as you go along to try to prove a mistaken point. how the fuck would she know what his junk is like before she has banged him?
Any way how old are you guys im feeling a bit left out being on this blog now
you just need a little of the ol’ roissy loving, deep and strong, filling you up until you shudder with pleasure, and you won’t feel left out anymore.
Katie, I am 7 years older than you…practically washed up. And you need new friends.
still im sure your younger than these men, lol
to roissy I am currently dating a 21 yo hes just 4 months older than me so he turns 21 before I do, it is that guy who I was hoping not to see when out with the older guy but the reason was not because I fancied him believe me I fancy all the nice guys really and cannot make my mind up about which one is aesthtically more pleasing either, it was just that if I saw anyone from university, word might get out that I was seeing an older man and may tarnish my reputation or what the other guys and even girls thought of me, trust me even if the girl is seeing an older guy it is not a good idea to let the others know about it. It was just that this guy worked in the area so there was more of a chance that Id bump into him, and what he thought of me mattered to me becuse he is hot. There are practical reasons why a girl will not ‘’settle down” and have a life long relationship with a guy much older than her for example sperm count begins to deplete as a man ages, as well as other obvious problems also he might die early and leave all the responsibility of bringing up children on the woman
After scanning Katie’s posts, I’m 100% sure she’s female. The male mind doesn’t tolerate such jumbled nonsense, confusion, and self-deception. Posts like those serve only to prove that the gist of roissy’s article is correct; but such confirmation is superfluous.
I wonder if an “*” could be placed next to all posts by authenticated females? It could serve as a much needed forewarning.
Are you people kidding me? One chick says she is “washed up” at 27 and the article is acting like 29 is what?? OLD? I just turned 28 and I pretty much feel like I went from a naive girl to a woman in the past couple years and feel more beautiful than I ever have. Why all the games? If a man in his late 30’s or older approaches me I am simply not interested if they try any of these ridiculous tricks stated above. Are women seriously considered washed up at 30 lol …what a joke!
whatever
minus some of the obvious benefits, I find younger girls to be a pain in the ass most of the time. too much party girl and overinflated sense of self-worth b/c the seemingly endless supply of desperate, drunken, horny beta college males perpetually come on to them every chance they get, so they prance about thinking they are the hottest and “most fabulous” (FUCK YOU SEX AND THE CITY) girl on the block with their whore friends in tow….thanks to the beta males for making the rest of our lives that little bit more needlessly difficult.
You guys and gals are all so funny…if people, older men or anyone else feels the need to play mind games and childish pick me ups with anyone, including younger women, then they are obviously extremely insecure and hence the reason for not having a current relationship. Treat people with respect, whatever their age, and treat yourself with respect, whatever your age. Maybe what you need is to learn to like yourself first and then try it on others. You will find a woman, and the age wont matter, that accepts you and loves you for who you are provided you are yourself around her at all times. No games, no corny pick up lines, no bullshit.
Be yourself. What a noble concept!
Hey, I just had a question, I have a problem with attracting girls my own age, well the ones I want anyway, im 27 but I meet this 19 going on 20 yearold girl for a week and she is already telling me she loves me…anyway we are making plans to like move in and get married and stuff,…anyway is there something wrong with me should I take a look at and work on?
Is it wrong for me to want to be with her, im sick of dating a bunch of people just to get flaked out on, and the passion and affection she gives me I have not felt in long time…
Is this right for me or am I making a mistake shoeld I be dating a younger girl?
I really want to work things out, and for some reason I believe I can do it. If you can help me out.. Thanks -Blaze
Attention Gannon!
A good friend sent me this link, and I am told I turned white as a ghost when I saw it. This is a 15 yo clone of my departed wife Heidi. A carbon copy/splitting image of her.
http://www.anonib.com/_jaybee/images/1279/1203908459177_anonib.jpg
Tell me, you teen devotee, what you think of her.
Understand that this girl, like my late wife is 5 foot, 4 inches tall.
Heidi however was 2x older, and gained 55 lbs, & a case of clinical depression.
To me it seems that jerry (68) and paperdreamer both seem to have some idea of life and relationships. This is the first blog that I have read of yours roissy. I have to say that your advice is not as horrible as people make it sound. But you are not making women fall in love with you. What you are doing my friend is cutting at there self-esteem. Your advice isn’t bad if you are looking to find a young hot chick, amuse her for a week or two, and then plow her in the sack a couple of times, then toss her to the curb. Men if you legitimately fall in love with a girl that is younger then you, don’t ignore her at the bar, but don’t smother her ass either. You need to understand that there is a balance that needs to be found and maintained in any relationship, no matter the age difference, that’s what makes it a healthy relationship!!
And for those of you out there, women especially, age is a number damnit thats all!!! I am 29 years old. I have never been married, and I don’t have any kids. Both of these by choice. I’m not saying that both of those options are out of the picture… but I have a ton of life yet to live! Because of my decision to not get married young or bang so many chicks that I have three kids on child support from three different women I have been able to live my life when I am young. I have been to over 15 different countries. I vacation to a tropical hot spot twice a winter, when I want to! I have a job that brings me the utmost satisfaction, because I was able to get the education and experience I needed in life early. Age is a number people, and if 29 is old then fuck it I’m old. I’m an old mother fucker with tons of fun and energy left in him.
Roissy, I do give you credit and respect you for putting your beliefs out there. It takes some balls and a level of intelligence so that you don’t sound like a moron. You seem to have accomplished that. Thanks for giving guys like me a place to vent.
Holla!
[...] one of the reasons I date so many Eternal Ingenues is that I date so many younger women. The two go hand in hand. But I’m not fatherly in the least. Books and talk and advice are [...]
Holy shit. Thank you. I’m actually a 20 year old dating a 16 year old, but this really helps, I see alot of the mistakes I’ve been making and noticing the same issues. This helped me out alot
This is great.
The article says, “It’s easy to fuck young girls! Just be a douchebag and play them because they’re too dumb to realize it!”
Then some REAL LIVE YOUNG GIRLS (omg) come along and offer their view.
All the guys are like “No way babe I know my stuff I’m a playa playa.”
Guess what: you aren’t.
By the way, Sam (71)… you’ve got it figured out. And 29 isn’t old at all
Men like you do not have any intention of a monogamous relationship and take advantage of the stupid, reckless girls with low self-esteem and bad taste. Yeah, that’ll add plenty to the gene pool should you slip up or your old balls produce enough over-eager swimmers. Men like you use pseudoscience to promote your agenda, yet ignore the advantages children have if their fathers are not assholes or aged.
While age differences do not inherently bother me, people who make age a fetish and those who exploit others are disgusting and are obviously overcompensating for their small dicks or latent homosexuality.
I regret finding yet another shitty blog that makes me despise people.
These are good rules to follow. I’m 34, and I have this 18 year old woman interested in me. She calls me just about everyday. Well as time has gone on and I expressed interest in return, she started to act coy and apathetic.
It’s the same old thing…a girl is interested in you, and then when you show interest in her, she acts like she’s no longer interested. This is what you call, “power apathy,” and it’s very hard to get a girl from power apathy mode back to her showing interest again. I’m hoping that if I follow these rules, it will help.
another golden post…
When young woman in their twenties post here that they love and go out with an older man, they mean someone in their 30s and 40s, but what about a man in his 60’s, have ever gone out with one of them? I am 67 year old , and see many my age at fitness centers. Many of them are more healthy than the 30 and 40 year old who drink and smoke, and they still can get it up. A man in his sixties has a tongue and dick, and know how to use it better the 30 and 40 year old. A man in his sixties take his time. The men the their 30s and 40s are alway looking at their watch when doing oral sex, wondering when well she be ready.” Are you ready?” “Are you ready?”" Are you ready?” “Are you ready?” they keep saying, like a big mouth kid sitting in the back set of a car; While daddy is driving, the brat keeps saying,”Are we there yet.” ,”Are we there yet.” ,”Are we there yet.” ,”Are we there yet.” ,”Are we there yet.” ,”Are we there yet.”
Harry
I’m a single guy who’d going to be 40 soon and I admit to being insecure, and being attracted to under 25’s (it’s a rough cut off point), and hoping the younger girls dont see my flaws. Girls can see my lack of alphaness a mile away, so it’s a reinforcing Catch 22 situation.
In any case, on what Katie, and then Roissy said, if the younger girl really likes/loves the older guy, then she wont ever be ashamed of being seen with him.
I just attended the wedding of a gal pal. Her husband is 14 years older than she is and a divorcee. In photos, she looks like a young 24 year old (she’s 30) and he looks like an old father (looks about 55-60). He’s a friendly guy, but every time I see them, I just think it’s so wrong!
But the point is, the girl will never be ashamed of seeing you if she is secure herself, and loves the guy.
Wow, I just read through this whole blog beause I’m a 33yr old male intending to become engaged to a 20yr old.
I keep fit, lots of cycling, pumping wights and boxing. I don’t smoke nor drink. In fact women never believe I’m 33, and the last woman I’ve dated insisted that I’m 25, until I showed her my driving licence!
The point is, I have looked after myself, established my career and did not fool around as I have been pretty much cellibate for a rather long period of time.
I have attended Pick Up School here in London, and have learned a lot about ‘gaming’ but decided to pick from it what was positive and natural and relinquish anything that is tricky, such as NLP and hypnosis.
I’m good looking, tall and well dressed, but I can never muster sufficient dedication to ‘pick up’ as I think that random fucking is something beneath me, I’m in control of my basic animal instincts. If I seduce a woman, then I’d have to be prepared to spend the rest of my life with her from the word go, otherwise, I don’t.
The 20yr old to me seems like a fair ‘prize’ for having looked after myself and denied myself random fucking.
The 20yr old, who is a virgin, would expect not needing to work a single day in her life if she chooses not to, she gets a ‘grown up’ in a younger looking fitter body and she’s young and adaptable enough to live in my world without causing too much of a fuss as being 13yrs older, I would have a passive father like gently domineering presence.
When I’m older, say 45, she’d be 32, which is perfect timing for my mid life crises, as I wouldn’t need to look for an affair with a younger secretary, my wife would be hot at 33, and hopefully way beyond! I guess it’ll become relative from there on end, so if and when I hit 65, she’d be a rejuvenating 52.
Personally, I believe that a gap of 13yrs is perfect because I’m right at the point where I could almost be her father but not quite, if that makes sense, and this age gap I believe would ensure the physical attraction would continue . . . well I’m hoping it will, as I’m betting my life on it!
I read this blog and a few of the comments. At least the ones closely related to age difference. I’m a 21 yr old female and my boyfriend is 47. I don’t see much wrong with it, and in the beginning it scared me a little but after getting to know him I felt really comfortable. We shared a lot of things in common and we both have a crazy sense of humor. I like when a guy pampers me and takes care of me. I would never want to be left at the bar for 30 minutes alone. Most girls I know are nervous when they are sitting alone, not just that, they are embarrased as if nobody WANTS to sit with them. Perhaps I just like how he can help me gain things by his own experiences… Not saying I cant do that with someone closer in age as me, but it’s more fun with someone who has “been there” before. OH and another thing, he has 2 kids, one my age and the other one is 2 yrs older than me..
it all has to do with how much chemistry ignites between the 2 ppl, having rules and boundaries is ridiculous.
Good stuff. Nothing wrong with calculating. Lot of the fellas need explicit instruction, this relating stuff comes naturally to the ladies but not so much for men. I’ve seen far to many men fall all over themselves to impress some girl while being led along by the nose. As they say, all’s fair in love and war.
http://alphadominance.com/?p=510
Thanks very much for this information, it’s helped reaffirm what was churning in my mind!
Well, seems like a heck of a lot of opinion out there. Barring that, there is an age gap between my favourite person and myself. I do love her so and she also is very happy and feels the same. We are not into a big physical relationship but we have one. The time we spend together is wonderful warm and filled with the intensity I thought I would never find. My favourite person definitely made herself available to me many many times over a few months before I clued into the fact I was seriously being prodded into asking her to dinner. I just thought she was being nice. Turns out she thought I was not interested in her seriously. Well, are we ever enjoying each others company. One thing I do find missing is the bitterness that so many women post thirty seem to exude.
We have not gone to many public functions as of yet, this is the thing we have yet to accomplish. We function well, we laugh a LOT, she has no overlying issue with the age gap, I am 46 she is 24. s two people who both have university educations we do not run out of conversation. Question: Better to meet a group of friends where the one on one intro’s are diluted or a casual meeting of one ot two couples?
I think what is missing is the romance part. Cooking a dinner with candles for her with a nice red wine or champagne. Sending flowers on random occasions for no reason at all. Taking her hand and kissing it softly. Just my thoughts, I am also half Italian too, so maybe some of the above is part of my heritage.
Can’t believe this was written over a year ago and the responses continue. Great topic and all of what is said has some truth in it-just depends on the situation. I am 49 she was/is 24. Great soul mates and friends for the past year plus, we go out in public a lot (in a small town). She is a head turner everywhere we go-she knows it. Recently, we started hanging out again after a 6 week break up-I got too needy. Now I see what happened and she couldn’t find a suitable replacement but is still looking. I would marry her in a heartbeat but am fixed and she wants kids-I have already had mine but would with her too.
My fortune, along comes another 24 year old hottie. I realized why this happens-whoever said the part of taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and keeping young attitude, is right on. This is what it’s about. However, I would take an older woman who looks 10 years younger than she is and has an enthusiastic youthful way of life.
Also, the initial advice is valuable at times when dealing with young women because they can be unaware sometimes about direct honest communication. However, when I communicate direct and honest (which I do now that I am not needy) it is guiding the relationship toward a rewarding outcome/friendship for both of us. Likely, she will find someone younger to have a family and will give up all that an older man can offer but she will gain some things too.
The new 24 year old has a whole different take on dating older men than the one I just dated for over a year. She loves the experience and communications in everyway-for now.
I told the other one about the new 24 year old-talk about jealous-she was initially shocked that I could find and be happily dating another woman her age. Then she told me that once she realized what she missed when she was gone for 6 weeks-she wasn’t surprised.
Bottom line though-I would rather be with the older woman who looks and acts young!
hey im a 19 year old women dating a 23 year old woman. How can I show her that i am not insecure or jealous anymore?
Anonymous
hey im a 19 year old women dating a 23 year old woman. How can I show her that i am not insecure or jealous anymore?
Even if you are a woman dating a woman these commandments Roissy posted will work wonders for you. In fact, being a woman and therefore thinking like one, you should have an edge over the average man. Anyone dating women take note:
http://roissy.wordpress.com/the-sixteen-commandments-of-poon/
who the hell writes this garbage!!!
Nice to have found this blog. First I would like to say to AKI that you are right on brother. 13 yrs is a very good age difference for a guy and girl. I am 55 and the majority of the woman I date are from 10 to 25 yrs younger. And it seems the bigger the gap the better we seem to get a long. Believe it or not, I don’t go out seeking younger woman, it just seems to happen that way for on reason or another. I have 2 daughters, one 25 years younger and the other 21 years younger. That makes them 30 and 34. They don’t seem to mind as long as I don’t go out with anyone younger than my youngest.
To HIG. I’m glade you like the way you are treated. A benefit for being with an older man and there is like you said “nothing wrong with it”. The people that have a problem are those that don’t have what it takes to be in a relationship with a younger woman.
And to whoever that makes the comments about taking advantage of a 22 year old. Grow up buddy. Most woman by the age 22 have been sexually active scene there early teens, have graduated from grammar school, High school and have did the collage party scene for years and at the least have an Associates degree. Their work history experience goes all the way back to selling cool aid, to a hamburger joint to being a waitress some place by the time they are 22. So, if she falls for an older guy she wasn’t taken advantage of. They are full grown adults not children like you try to make it sound. Here’s to all you younger woman that like older men, We Love You!
wow this is crazy..if anyone thinks a 21 year old will still be the same at 31 your out of your mind..ive ran threw a few and dumped them with no problems of moving on..i did think i was invisible and used my looks to get whoever i wanted….i feel now i do know myself and can settle down now!!! not at 21-25.. but i do understand the guy probably will never take her seriously and thats why he dates 21-25..and is imature of course….but o yes you olders rock in bed!!!!!!
In essense you are telling 35+ guys to behave like the immature teenage jerks in their 20s that we leave.
Why would I date a guy much older than me? Because he is freaking mature.
I see a guy playing girly games, like Lindsey Lohan on Mean Girls (what you are teaching guys), I dump the divas.
I am a diva, and I am not willing to share the spotlight with another girl, let alone guy!
My friends smell immaturity, and dump the guy immediately. We are more merciless to older guys because they should know better.
Maturity= a guy who doesn’t give a damn, and will call YOU and several times. A guy who makes my call goes to voicemail, by the time he calls me back, I lose all interest in him.
In highschool, I was on the border of a girly-girl Mean Girls Click, like off the set of Gossip Girl. We were 10 and it send me to the library to find the meaning of life!!! It was so bad that I spent 5th grade studying Gandi and Philosophy in my free time, because I believed there has to be more to life then these silly girls and their silly preoccupations about being the alpha queen bee and designer shoes and other frou frou.
Guys my age are so insecure, that they have to behave like pre-teen drama queens, and use all the same techniques!
Do you, author of this blog, think that we don’t know all let the phone go to voice mail tricks. We used to be that master of it ourselves at 10-15, but then realize people get really hurt and stopped. It’s called bullying. Teachers intervene. In adults, it’s called emotional abuse. So, when you see the guy you are in love with behaving in a manner that a diva girl mistreated you with when you wanted to join her clique, you get disgusted.
We women in our twenties prefer real men to 10 year old girls.
We want someone secure enough in himself who can make us feel loved, show his vulnerability. The more times he calls in a day, the more loved we feel, the more we want this person. We want a real man with all his flaws, who isn’t afraid to look desperate or show them. You fall in love with someone’s flaws, their vulerablity. When they start behaving like a macho jerk, we become callous and insenstive. We dump them, and to spite them, start dating and sleeping with their best friend.
If guys are vicious to us like those middle school girls that still leave pain in our hearts, we fight back in a way we were too chicken back in middle school. We take out our anger at the middle school girls at these men-sissies, and boy does it feel good.
I went out with a guy who I figured out played by this rule book. As soon as I did, I crushed him, and MAN OH MY did it feel good! Crushing a diva is like medcine for a wounded soul, wounded by these evil ten year old bitches.
Your alpha male advice, to a young woman reads- Top Mean Girl Bitch from 5th grade. We hated her. We will commit violence to her when we see her at our next highschool reunion; she knows that so no longer attends. Since she lives far away and killing her will only give us jail time, the next best thing is to take our rage out on guys who immitate her behavior in the way you perscribe.
You realize you are putting these guys in jeopardy by every single woman who went to higschool and wasn’t the mean rich bitch queen bee. We dump these older guys who listen to your advice, and find a 19 year old with no brains and smoking body the next day who happens to treat us better.
In the end, all what matters for a woman is how a man treats her, does he geniunely care for her and respect her, does he show vulnerability. You call it desperation. We call it sexiness. Watch Ernique Igleasius’s videos. You see that he isn’t afraid to show he is desperate, and that makes him so sexy that all women want to eat him alive! mmmm.
Vulenerability is alpha behavior, as is being raw, and real. A man who cares for you, and doesn’t give a damn how he looks and has the guts to show it is so strong and sexy. Being fake and Plastic, like that girl gang on Mean Girls, is beta behavior, oringated by insecure middle school girls but occasionally used by dumb 20 year old men.
What else do you advise guys to do, buy pink matching underwear? I won’t dump and immediately replace a guy for pink underwear. Mr.Voicemail always got brutally replaced. I enjoy watching those divas writhe in pain. They get what they deserve!
I equally enjoy wonderful happy relationships with men who show vulnerablity. Even if they don’t work out, we are the best of friends, and we have great fun together. Plastic guys are boring. Real men are a lot of fun, you know what interests them and you have common interests, and you just bounche back and forth with postive energy, and help each other reach goals and be happy.
I’m 50 and dating a 26 y.o. Yes, she is smoking hot and knows it, has her own money and a great career already….yes, she is smart. So why is she with me?
I’ll tell you why. It’s because I know how to make her laugh, I can cook, and rock n roll with the boys in the band. I stay fit and treat her like she deserves to be treated. I care what she thinks about things and we have intellectual exchanges that enlighten one or both of us. Most importantly, I know how to play “interceptor” when necessary. I interecept the friends, folks and co-workers when they are coming to put her down for dating an older guy. I persuade, cajole, listen to, laugh with, or at all of them. In short, I MAKE them like me…and make them see what she see’s in me. A very young 50 year old with a lot of energy and an unrelenting adventurous side who loves life and is unwilling to settle for less then the nirvana I experience when I’m with her. Yes, I love her, I’m in love with her and it is more intense, passionate, romantic and really f’ing cool than anything I had ever imagined.
Yes, age is a number and if you let it, life will run you down. But don’t beleive the “energy level” b.s. If you do, you’ll let yourself go and never have energy. But that is a fallacy! Work out, eat right, have great sex and get your 7-8 hours of sleep and you’ll feel great and ready to party whenever the time comes. We can go to the club and be a specatacle and it’s Great! watching the watchers watch us! They have nothing else to do in the space they are taking up! We can stay up all night and sleep all day if we want to. Or we can stay in, go to bed at midnight, get up early and go hiking in the mountains, hop on the bike, play golf, or just lay around the shanty and put a good buzz on. We do it all!
My ex-wife of 15 years is pissed! But, hey she decided she was bored and had an affair with a guy at work. I divorced her and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. A 2nd lease on life and a hottie, whom I love and adore…to boot! Will it last? Three years and still going strong. She gets the “looks” and hit on and shuts them down so fast they don’t know what hit em’! My baby!
Right on old dude. My feelings exactly. I can’t understand why a beautiful young girl or woman wouldn’t want to be with a man that knows how to love and take care of them. Well, I guess we all have to make a mistake first.
As a 24 year old who only dates men at least 20 years my senior, I find most of these tips to be insulting. Why would I want to share my time with a man who a) doesn’t return my texts, b) doesn’t answer my calls, or c) leaves me ALONE at a bar while going to chat up other women?
Ridiculous. This post is way off.
If a guy wants to charm a younger woman, just spoil her with attention by treating her like a princess, listening to her, and gazing at her like she is a queen. It doesn’t have to be financial, though men with low self esteems will make it so.
Any relationship, no matter how superficial, has to be somewhat genuine.
OntoHorizon sounds like a horrid person.
great blog. very useful info. but remember the cultural differences too. Middle eastern women/girls love a guy to get jealous and show possessiveness. If u fail to show jealousy for her show will think you are a weak man or gay. I dated a younger middle eastern girl and she loved it when i would randomly show jealousy. Especially when i would tell her “you belong to me”. she would go nuts over that. I would get a call from her the next day telling me how horny was. So, pay attention to cultural differences and adjust accordingly
“Any relationship, no matter how superficial, has to be somewhat genuine.”
baby you have such a beautiful soul
p.s. old dude, why talk about what “we” can do? worry about what you can do- you should kick the girl out and bring in a new one to remind yourself that she doesn’t mean shit, and then bring them in and kick them out weekly.
never forget that they are all replaceable playboy
this is stupid. If you can’t figure out women enough by yourself and are looking on the internet for help, you need more help than anyone can give you. You little bastards are stupid. I wish I could stomp your heads in. You little creeps
hey old dude, I’m not rich but I’m willing to bet what I have that she is cheating on you, retard. You are still old and stupid. and you are insecure, who the hell has to explain this much in some unknown corner of the internet? I’m just writing because I love to hate on shitheads and you made the list asshole! date someone your own age ya fuckin creep!
Good stuff. Don’t be needy and don’t be insecure are true with all women, regardless of age. I’m building a site at http://www.adventuresofbossplaya.com that will have tons of tips on it. It already has some tips up now.
Anytime a women says that she’s falling in love with you, just say “I know.”
My younger women site is at http://www.datingyoungerwomen.net
Peace bro!
Roissy,
I have already made a big mistake by not keeping to any of ya rules and now there is a communication breakdown . How do I handle it? Please rossy email me, I will pay…I need info
Roissy,
Great advice. I recently revisited this old post because I’m casually dating three 20 year old women right now, two of whom turn 21 this summer. I’m 30.
Honestly, after a horrible bout of engagement-laden oneitis for a girl who was exactly 5 years younger, I was under the false impression that this was it for me with regard to sub-25 girls. I irrationally believed that I was now relegated to dating whatever passable girls I could find in the quarter-century+ tier.
Additionally, a single, 27-year-old female friend told me that turning 30 would automatically close the doors to such young women, and increase the letch factor significantly, and by Lucifer, she’s been dead wrong. How stupid I was for ever believing this about myself.
To wit, I’ve recently bumped into several old high school classmates only to find them overweight and accompanied by unimpressive women, if accompanied at all. It really underscored the importance of keeping in shape and maintaining the raw vitality of a 23 year old man through working out. While maintenance workouts will suffice for most men, I find that when I’m progressing physique-wise, the confidence I exude magnifies the attraction of women — regardless of age. Of course that’s nothing ground-breaking, but this simple truth just can’t be overstated.
This, combined with the hands-off “don’t-really-care-much” approach you delineate here has been absolutely killer for me in having a satisfying life of sexual pursuit with no (nonlegal) age limit.
If I had anything to add to your regime, its this:
Should a younger woman that you’re dating crack a joke about your age or the age difference, you in turn should laugh mischievously like the sexual scofflaw that you are and then kiss her while smiling, a celebratory act acknowledging that you’re ignoring the feminist-influenced social order and enjoying it.
I find these rules, the advise, and the comments most puzzling, intriguing, ambigous, and some of them blatantly idiotic, but perhaps it only me. I certainly do not have “game”. I have been told I am “cute”, whatever the heck that means, but not a Brat Pitt certainly.
I find myself very interested in this topic because I am attracted to younger women. I am in my early 40’s, and I have noted that I prefer the 20’s woman. It is rather difficult though because of the strong stigmas in our country about younger women dating older men. I have read several websites, a couple of books, and even asked for advise on some other boards.
One thing that strikes me still is this “game” that people are advising to play. Do not call her, do not appear needy, do not do this or that, etc., I find myself thinking what the f… excuse the French. Why is it not possible to simply be blatantly honest and frank?
I am currently in the process of courting a woman who just turned 20. I find her very attractive, smart, and she has a little girl. She is working in the strip club industry, and that is how I met her. Over the last nine months or so, she has grown into me, despite the fact that I am the one calling her, and texting her. She does reply, but when she wants, and that “game” drives me nuts. I have told her that, and she apologies, but continues to behave like that.
At work, I use the raw unfiltered honesty approach, and it works rather well the majority of the time. Hence, I am of the idea of using the same approach with her. I have done it, but with so-so results. I have told her I am in love with her, and she is the one who says “I know”. In any case, I find it so difficult to follow these games of strategy that most probably is why I am still alone. Such is life.
Why is it not possible to simply be blatantly honest and frank?
early 40s? this is your answer. the world has changed a lot.
if she is a stripper, go to “thegmanifesto” blog, he has cool tips about dating “exotic dancers”
hotty32..girl: “wow this is crazy..if anyone thinks a 21 year old will still be the same at 31 your out of your mind..”
Yeah, and if anyone who’s 25 thinks they’ll be the same at 28 they’re out of their minds too … point being?
Wow.. I just have to say that I disagree with some of the tips on this blog. I am nineteen and I habitually date older men. My youngest ex is 27.
If you were to try to pull half that shit on me, like waiting hours to respond to my texts/calls and leaving me alone while you go flirt with someone else, you wouldn’t get anywhere with me. I hope to god you are the one that drove to the bar, becuase if I were in my vehicle your ass would be left right there.
I do like the idea of “Don’t be needy”. I have paid the bills of too many men, and in the end it is just gross that they have not learned to support themselves yet and they rely on someone who is 19 to put gas in their car and food on the table. It also freaks me out when a guy calls me 100 times a day, but I dont think it is needy for them to immediately answer my texts/calls. I think it is meaningful and respectful. I sends me the message that they are interested enough to make an effort.
I don’t put up with bull crap. I like older men because they are more self-sufficient and laid back. They are typically set in their career and the majority of them take care of their own problems and dont let small things get to them.
Most older men also remember chivalry. I love it when a man treats me like a lady by opening doors for me and lighting my cigarettes. Then again, that may just be a southern thing.
So my advice is if you want a younger woman to fall for you then , yes, you do need to be spontaneous and romantic. However, do not try to control her. Respect her as another human being. Recognize her intelligence (if applicable), and even though a younger woman may not have as many life experiences as you, trust that they will learn from their mistakes (i.e. they made a decision against your advice and later reaped the consequences). Don’t say “I told you so” and rub their mistakes in their face. And above all – DO NOT TALK DOWN TO THEM!